By Paul Kaplan, used by permission

1. Well now Henry was an accountant
   He worked with a pencil and a pad
   If you had somethin’ that you needed figured out
   Henry the Accountant was your man, Lord, Lord
   Henry the Accountant was your man.
2. Now when Henry was a little baby
   Sittin’ on his daddy’s knee
   He picked up a pencil and a little piece of paper
   He said, Two plus one equals three.
3. Well now the man who bought the first calculator
   He thought he was real fine
   He walked up to Henry with a sneer on his lips
   Sayin, Your job is gonna be mine.
4. Well now Henry stood up and drew his weapon
   He said, A man isn’t nothin’ but a man
   He said, We’ll have ourselves a race and I’ll put you in your place
   Or I’ll die with my pencil in my hand.
5. Then they each grabbed a fifty-pound ledger
   And Henry went to work with all his might
   And though his hand was startin’ to cramp, and his shirt was gettin’ damp
   He swore he would not give up the fight.
6. They were three long hours in the battle
   And the man with the machine pulled out ahead
   He had old Henry beat, ’til on the final sheet
   Suddenly his batteries went dead.
7. Now Henry he beat that calculator
   And his power could not be denied
   But the terrible strain had been too much for his brain
   So he lay down his glasses and he died.
8. Well they buried Henry in the graveyard
   They buried him with his pencil and his pad
   Now when their checks don’t clear
   They always shed a tear
   For the last human being who could add!